THE BALLAD OF LETTUCE HANDS LARRY

Lettuce Hands Larry is an unholy abomination, created in February of 2020 by the writers of Princeton's Famous Triangle Club!

He is just a normal old man, except that...

HE HAS HEADS OF LETTUCE INSTEAD OF HANDS !!!

This makes it difficult to use his Windows Computer, although Lettuce Hands Larry still tries to type things like "<BR>" and "ñ" and even "@"

Which BEGS the question...

Has Mr. Larry ever killed a man?
The answer is....

PERHAPS.

But we do not speak of this.

So ANYways...
Click here to learn about the people who birthed this freak of nature!
and...
Click here to learn about their inspiration, Johnny Depp!

Below, please find the 7 steps (which is MORE than 5, so I sure do hope I get credit for this!) in the daily routine of Old Lettuce Hands himself:

  1. Wake up.
  2. Comtemplate lettuce hands.
  3. Try to touch girlfriend, whose name is Beet Hands Bernice.
  4. Fail.
  5. Shake lettuce hands at God in frustration.
  6. Sleep.
  7. Repeat.

Here is pretty much what Larry looks like...

EXCEPT both his hands are heads of lettuce. Not just one.
If it were just the one, his name would be Lettuce Hand (singular) Larry.
And that would be no fun.

By the way, I got that photo from here!

And here, just for the fun of it, is the Triangle Club Logo!!!

By the way, I got that logo from here!

Here is the sound of Lettuce Hands Larry galloping towards you!

By the way, I got that sound from here!

Here's a super tricky picture!

Whew! You made it all the way down here?!
You know what you should do? You should click here for the top of this page and do it all over again!